Top 10

Top 10 things I never imagined having to say to my kids:

10. Please get your frog out of my coffee.

9. We don't stick our toes up our noses. I don't care if you wanted to see how they smell. They'll get stuck there, and then you'll spend your life looking like a pretzel or a yoga instructor.

8. Get that toilet brush out of your mouth NOW!!

7. Don't poke your sister's eyeballs. They don't work the same as slugs' eyes.

6. Don't pee on the cat!

5. Don't lick the wall.

4. Don't eat your sister's boogers.

3. No, you may NOT tie your brother to the cat & throw him in front of the dog.

2. DON'T EAT THAT SLUG!!!!

1. The blue water in the toilet is NOT kool-aid, and please do NOT put it in your sister's cup.