So it was bound to happen. People noticing my baby bump, that is.
I'm always excited to start showing. I mean, REALLY showing. Not a slightly pudgy, gosh-she's-gaining-weight kind of belly. I hate that stage! But a true, round, feminine, fertile, goddess shape. The shape that men have painted for centuries as an example of true womanly beauty. (Have you ever noticed that not one man painted a Twiggy type lady in his paintings centuries ago? I think I was born 300 years too late!)
But, alas...with the belly bump & 7 kids tagging along behind me comes the inevitable questions, comments, belly-rubs & insults. So, I've got a list of come-backs ready. Hey, I've had 7 pregnancies to perfect them! Here are some of the ones I use most often:
1. Yes, we know what causes it and we LOVE doing it!
2. No, I do NOT have my hands full....but we're working on it!
3. No, I am NOT getting "fixed". Clearly, nothing is broken!
4. If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart!
5. Yes, they're all mi.....WAIT....where did THAT one come from??
6. No, we plan to keep going till we get an ugly one!
7. We're not trying to over populate the earth....just out number the idiots!
8. No, they're not all mine. I gather up the neighbors' kids & THEN go shopping!
9. I'm glad it's me and not you, too!!
10. Careful....I ate the last person that commented on my weight!
11. Pregnant? No, I'm shop-lifting a basketball. Shhhh!
12. I may be huge, but at least I don't say stupid things to pregnant women!
13. Wow...that was a rude thing to say. Have you been talking to my mother?
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